


Don't Let Cobb Drive the War Rig

by chasingriver



Series: Inception Bingo 2016 [6]
Category: Inception (2010)
Genre: Canon-Typical Violence, Community: inceptiversary, Dystopia, Gen, Humor, Inspired by Mad Max Series (Movies)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-28
Updated: 2016-07-28
Packaged: 2018-07-27 09:36:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 598
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7613002
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chasingriver/pseuds/chasingriver
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ariadne doesn't like the cold, so she designs them a level in the desert instead.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Don't Let Cobb Drive the War Rig

**Author's Note:**

> This is for the "dystopia" square in the 2016 Inception Bingo. 
> 
> Thanks to youcantsaymylastname and kate_the_reader for the beta.

The War Rig thundered across the open desert, Ariadne looking fierce (and yet somehow gleeful) behind the wheel. Her red scarf trailed out behind her as the hot air rushed through the cabin. Arthur rode shotgun — literally — armed to the teeth as he scanned the horizon for signs of projections. 

Saito sat behind them, looking as comfortable and composed in the trashed semi as he did in the back of his limo. “You’ll be fine,” he said to Fischer, white-knuckling it next to him. “They’ve got it under control.” 

“Where the hell are Eames and Cobb?” Arthur said. “I thought they were supposed to be in the support vehicle.” He checked the mirrors but couldn’t see anything. 

Ariadne looked in her mirror and her eyes widened. “Um.”

“What? Where are they?” 

“It’s okay, they’re right behind us,” Ariadne said, sounding apologetic.

“Then what is it?” he said, the irritation in his voice getting stronger by the second.

“Well … Eames is tied to the front of the car.” 

“What?” Arthur shouted, crawling almost into her lap so he could see. 

Eames was, in fact, tied to the front of the car like a handsome (pissed-off looking) figurehead. 

“What the hell, Ariadne?” 

She pushed at him, trying to keep the truck from swerving. “Get off me, I can’t see!” 

“He was supposed to be driving!” Arthur shouted.

“Fuck if I know what happened,” she said. “Perhaps Mal tied him up there.” 

“He’s the one dreaming this level — this isn’t going to end well.” 

As if on cue, sand clouds appeared on the horizon behind them, disgorging metal hedgehogs of cars, rusty and vicious. They gained on the war rig, resolving into a veritable army of ghoulish-looking projections with all manner of explosive devices. 

“Okay, his subconscious does seem pretty pissed,” Ariadne conceded.

“We’re done here,” Arthur said.

“No, wait —”

“— don’t move.” He grabbed the sniper rifle and crawled onto her lap, bracing himself against the window, trying to get a good shot. It took him three tries, but Eames finally crumpled and sagged on the pole in front of the car. 

The edges of the dream started to fray. 

“Do we just wait?” she said.

“It’ll take too long. I’d rather go out with a shot between the eyes than in a car wreck.” 

He aimed again and shot Cobb, getting him on the second try. Then he crawled back to his seat, got a handgun, and shot the rest of them out, saving himself for last. 

They all woke up in the warehouse, breathing hard. (All except Saito, who quietly shook his head and wandered over to the area where he kept his expensive tea. This wasn’t their first disastrous test run, and it probably wouldn’t be their last.)

“What the bloody hell was that? I was supposed to be driving!” Eames shouted. He looked ready to throttle Ariadne. “Cobb, I don’t care how brilliant she is, we’re not letting her come up with the level concepts by herself.” 

“What?” Ariadne said. “I thought — you know, a desert road trip to reconcile with his estranged evil overlord father. It’s cathartic, right? It worked in _Star Wars_.” 

“I was _tied to a car._ I didn’t even have goggles. How am I supposed to hold a dream together like that?”

“Yeah, sorry. I’m not sure how that happened.” 

“I’m going to be finding phantom sand for weeks,” Eames muttered. 

Yusuf smirked. “Well, it sounds like that went well.”

“The War Rig was pretty cool,” Cobb said.

“Shut up,” Arthur and Eames said in unison, and stormed off to find some lunch. 

**Author's Note:**

> I'm aware that Arthur didn't end up on the third level. They hadn't figured out who'd be staying on the second level yet so they were doing the test levels with everyone. That's my story and I'm sticking to it. ;) 
> 
> You can find me on tumblr at [chasingriversong](http://chasingriversong.tumblr.com).


End file.
